you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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