I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
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yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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