What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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