My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize