Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
