have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
