Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This beer is not sobering me up at all
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
