Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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