He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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