My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize