Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you didnt know i had herpes?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
