so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
