Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
