I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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