Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize