If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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