Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
