with your own penis?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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