Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
