lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
