Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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