I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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