just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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