i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
