Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
