Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
