Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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