To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize