Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
