I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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