so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
