All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
