What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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