You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
