Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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