who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Rumble strips road head = magical
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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