I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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