and she was petting her beer can
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
