Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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