please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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