I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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