I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize