we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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