The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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