I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
