i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize