is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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