They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
