where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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