from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
