Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
