Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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