I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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