why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
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is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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