Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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