Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
