I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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