The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
