i barfeds in our rink
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
