Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
